Love (Yourself) Well
I was listening to Dr. Anita Phillips’ podcast, In the Light. She had her daughter, Olivia, as a guest and they discussed 1 Corinthians 13, the beloved love chapter. Olivia broke down verse seven with a different lens than I’ve heard before. She applied the greatest aspects of love to herself. 1 Corinthians 13:7, from the amplified version reads, “Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].
We are entering a season of love. Valentine’s Day comes with both adoration and chagrin. It’s a day that brings to the surface the deep-seated uncertainty of whether your man loves you or not. It becomes a battle of egos for women to see whose man buys them the biggest teddy bear and most lavish floral bouquet. Restaurant reservations are taken, Walmart shelves are stripped clean, and social media is littered with reels of rose bombed hotel rooms.
I’ve had a love hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. Growing up my dad showered me with gift baskets, teddy bears, cards, all the quintessential love items. I was very lucky to be shown intentional love as a young girl. Fast forward to my first relationship, Valentine’s Day was not met with the same care. One year, I received a plastic rose from the gas station. Though I wanted to jump over the moon in excitement, deep down I knew something was wrong. I knew that Valentine’s Day was not supposed to look like that.
All these years later, I understand that how people see you is how they will treat you. And the more people treat you a certain way, the more you begin to internalize it. I went from seeing myself as a young girl loved by her amazing father to a young woman too broken to be loved well. (Ghetto, I know.)
But let’s get back to Dr. Anita and Olivia. Line by line, Olivia read the words and compared them to her own thoughts and actions. She began to understand the need to apply what was written to how she loved herself. She had to craft her own narrative of self-love, driven by the word of God. Not driven by anyone else or even herself. That is a useful exercise for all of us, especially with Valentine’s Day right around the corner.
When you understand how God designed love, you won’t have to accept the plastic roses or negative self-talk that tends to invade our thoughts during this love season. Any gift you receive, or kind word spoken will only amplify what you believe about yourself. Though it’s cliché, the saying is true, real love comes from within.
So, I want to challenge you to ask yourself these questions this Saturday morning. Be honest!
When I face difficulty, do I begin to talk down on myself for being in the situation or love myself through to the other side?
Would I be able to list my best qualities if someone asked me right now?
Does my self-worth waver when people disappoint me or don’t love me well?
Know that you are loved well by our Father in heaven. I pray this Valentine’s Day reflects that truth. I pray that those you choose to love this season bring out the best in you. And if they don’t, may you have the confidence to walk away.
XOXO